i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When are your genitals available?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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