I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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