please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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