if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize