I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
