1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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