garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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