you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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