i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Still dying that you shit outside
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
