Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
