spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
