Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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