Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
