Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
