I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
