My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
