I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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