I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
