Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
