My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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