Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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