How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i came on her dog
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
