"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
