how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
