i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize