Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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