I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
