what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
