There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
