quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
