i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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