If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
