I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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