Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
