You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize