Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
foreskin is a definite game changer
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
