if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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