I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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