Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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