HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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