so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
