whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
