Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize