i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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