I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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