i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
