He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
