Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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