what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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