I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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