): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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