It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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