Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
