if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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