i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
