She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
