So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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