You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
