Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
