Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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