you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
