guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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