You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
