another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
